I was skimming Jeremy Roenick’s autobiography the other day in Barnes & Nobles. Might be the worst former jock’s self-aggrandizing I’ve yet seen, and I’ve skimmed a lot of them over the years.

The guy brags about his goal, assist, and point totals in high school and about hazing new players on the Thayer Academy hockey team by making them race across a hockey locker room floor (and there might not be a more disgusting surface in the world), naked, with cookies clenched between their butt cheeks. Because that’s not homoerotic. At all.

And this was something like page 5.

Never been so happy I was a terrible high school athlete or that the guys I went to prep school with weren’t into such ‘hijinks’ when I did make a varsity squad.

Pro athletes are often just the worst people.